‘Lord, may I experience being part of a miraculous healing this year. Whether that means seeing a healing, being a vessel of your healing, or I myself being healed, my prayer is that You allow that to be part of what you have for me.’
This was a prayer of mine coming into being on the Race. I had heard stories of people experiencing healing, times of doors being opened to the laying of hands so others could experience Gods miraculous healing, but I had never seen or experienced it. I honestly wasn’t even sure of God still worked in that way, but there was a hope in my heart that He did.
As I spent time in prayer with the Lord and conversation with others at training camp, I kept receiving things from the Him about healing, being healed, giftings He gives, and so on. I saw squad mates pray over each others pain and them be healed. I experienced relief of pain in some areas, but I chalked it up to coincidence, not actual healing. There was a crossroads of both doubt and hope in how I would see God work. I continued to pray into my desire but didn’t really open my eyes to how He was working right in front of me.
Fast forward to being in Medellin for about 3 weeks. I began to experience God I breaking me and my walls in some heavy ways, which I am still in the midst of learning in. I also, for several years, have experienced extremely painful migraines, and have never known where they come from or what sets them off. I have them a couple times a month and they are debilitating. Wednesday night, February 10, I began getting a migraine faster than one has ever happened. Within a few minutes, I went from no pain to barely being able to speak. Overwhelmed and feeling like the migraine had more to do with the spiritual realm than bodily functions, I brought it to the squad for prayer. They came around me, laid hands on me, and through my pain I tried to focus on trusting that God would bring healing. He didn’t. I went to bed unsure of how I would feel when I woke up, but was praying that I would wake up pain free. Instead, I woke up not long after in more pain than when they prayed over me. I took some medicine and attempted to go to sleep again. The next morning, the pain had lessened, but it was far from gone, and I was incredibly discouraged.
Over the course of the next day, I had different people pray over my head. Every time someone would pray, the pain would lessen for about 15 minutes, and then return with more vengeance than before. Medicine wasn’t touching it anymore and when we prayed, the pain would worsen. That’s when I said ‘This has to be spiritual’. My heart began to break as the weapon of prayer that I had seemingly ceased to work.
Friday morning I woke up with more pain than the night before. Coming to my team in tears and brokenness, I said ‘I don’t know what to do, but I think you need to pray again’. They kindly laid hands and proclaimed God’s healing power over my body. And again, the pain did not leave. It had been 2 days and I was at such a loss as to what I should do.
When I went downstairs for dinner that night, Cari, one of my squad leaders, asked me how I was feeling. Again, the tears began to flow as I sat there in despair, unsure of when I would be rid of the pain. We talked for some time about what God was doing in my life and if I could see Him in it. Rob, my other squad leader, asked me ‘What has your thought process been about God’s goodness through these past couple days?’ I sat up and I said ‘I have not once questioned God’s goodness. The pain that I feel is not dependent on wether He is good or not good’. Rob smiled and responded ‘You sat up straighter when you said that and spoke more definitively than you have in the last 45 minutes. I have a question…how does your head feel?’ I sat there and thought about it, examining my head, and I realized something that made me catch my breath. Through teary eyes I said ‘It’s gone. Like, I can’t feel it at all’. I continued to sit and disbelief and amazement, because the pain I was feeling moments before was so overwhelming, and for that pain to be gone was even more overwhelming.
This was a miraculous healing. This was a moment that was undeniable and shattered the lie of coincidence. The moment I began to proclaim truths of God over myself and to those around me, He touched me with His hand. So sweetly, sitting next to me, He showed me that He was near, He was present, and that my pain was not too much for Him. I thought back to a prayer from the day before where I had said ‘Father, please make Your presence undeniable. May I not have to tell myself You are near, but instead let it be an overwhelming presence. I want to see You in new ways. My eyes are open, please let me see You’. And that is entirely what He did. He chose not to use other vessels or people, but rather kindly used our partnership to bring the healing.
I know this is not the end of the healings I will see this year, both in my body and the bodies of others, but it is one I will always hold a little bit closer to my heart. He is so so good and I am honored that He is also so personal.
