Sitting on a couch at eight years old, reading about David Livingston, all I could think was “I want to be just like him.” I read stories of a man exploring new territory, meeting new people, and not being afraid of where he was and what he did. He was one of those cool guys. You know, the adrenaline junkies, who are not afraid to explore but instead that energy fuels them? That was David Livingston, and I wanted to be just like him. So, I prayed and prayed, I read the bible, I stretched my adventurous side, and I waited for the inevitable call to go do missions for the Lord.
Here is what I didn’t realize though. Going overseas to do missions doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid. And going to do missions means more than tempting fate. As I moved into my teenage years and began to understand the bigger picture of mission work, I wrote off my desire to go as a silly childhood dream. After all, it was based out of a misconception of what mission work really is…right? I began to move on to other things, working in my church, but straying farther from the Lord. If I wasn’t going overseas, then there was no point in me living it out here in the states. Everyone here already knew the Gospel.
Sadly, that was genuinely my mentality, and it showed in how I lived my life. My friends knew I was a Christian, that I went to church, and that I considered myself to be someone who loved the Lord. But they also saw a side of me that lived a life as though I did not have a greater call. I became complacent in my faith, okay with going against what the Lord desired for my life, and glorifying a sinful self over one striving to grow in God’s will.
When I was sixteen, I had the opportunity to go to AFRICA of all stinkin’ places. Funny, right? I raised funds, took care of getting vaccinated, and went with my mom, some of my church family, and doctors from a nearby hospital. I set foot in Ghana, West Africa, and I was blown away. The poverty and brokenness that I had seen in photos was actually real. The malnutrition, the dehydration, the sickness, and the pain was so evident it broke my heart. Over my time there though, my view quickly changed. Through all the pain, sickness, and poverty, the people were content. And they were joyful. And they praised God in big ways. I absolutely did not understand. How could people with so little be so at peace with it? And I realized, just shy of seventeen, that the God I serve is big and powerful and kind and supplies everything I will ever need in this world. How beautiful, am I right?
My heart for mission work was reignited. But not simply for overseas, but for the states as well. I realized where ever I was, God had someone who needed to hear about Him and His Gospel. I began to see the brokenness of the lives around me more than ever before and began a genuine relationship with my God.
I started attending College of the Ozarks in the spring of 2018 as a Family Studies major. I knew I still had a heart for overseas missions, but I also had such a heart for the people surrounding me who had nobody to speak and advocate for them. As I continued in school, I noticed missions growing more in my heart. I attempted opening some doors on my own, but they wouldn’t move. I was certain the growing desire was the Lord telling my it was my time to go, but He never really fully opened the door. Exasperated by the lack of a sending, I reluctantly agreed to stay in school.
Looking back, I can confidently say that God is so good and His direction is better than anything we can plan for ourselves. On July 27, 2019, my best friend and roommate, Haley Allison, was killed in car accident. I was broken, devastated, and so hurt. I questioned God, His goodness, and His motives. And here is where I can see God’s provision and goodness coming into play: if I had my way I would have left for overseas missions a month and a half after the accident. The Lord knew that I would be broken, that i would not trust Him, and that I would not be able to share the Gospel with others. While I could not see that as he closed my door to going overseas, He knew exactly what I would need.
After waiting to be sent, the Lord has given me the sweetest YES to go proclaim His gospel to the nations. It is a blessing to see a desire planted in a young eight year old girl become a call to go, a joy to see her understanding of missions be refined, and her trust and reliance of the Lord grow in exponential ways.
And who knows, maybe I will get to pet a lion too.
-Quynn
